New York Resident

by Victoria Pericon

Across the nation, anxious high school seniors await correspondence from admissions offices at universities large and small. Some students get the chance to celebrate with their friends and family the joy of being admitted into the school of their choice. To many others, however, the dreaded rejection letter arrives with news that is potentially devastating; they are denied entrance to their desired institution, or are placed on a wait list.

More than ever, students are applying to colleges. And competition for spots in top colleges has become so intense that even exceptional high school students find themselves shut out of not only their number one choice, but also some schools slightly lower on their preference list.

Many parents find themselves in the position of having to console their very disappointed children. They watch as their child work hard and focus on being admitted into a particular college, only to be disappointed. Eric Kaplan, Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, offers advice to parents whose children have been disappointed by the admissions process.

“If your son or daughter has been rejected,” says Kaplan, “the best thing to do is to encourage your child to think positively about the options that are available to them.”

If your child has been placed on the wait list, Kaplan suggests the child return the card indicating that they want to be placed on the list. He also advises that the student write a letter restating their interest in attending the college. Kaplan cautions having patience as your child awaits the final determination. “Most colleges will not know whether they’ll admit students from the wait list until late April,” he says, “so do not make frivolous overtures or call incessantly.” Doing so, believes Kaplan, will have the opposite of the desired effect.

Zohar Adner, a career counselor at Polytechnic University, advises encouraging students who have been rejected from a college to be flexible. He believes it’s important to remind young people that some things are out of their control, they have a choice in how they will react to their situation. “You can let go of the disappointment and make the most of what has been made available,” says Adner, “or you can sulk and complain. You won’t always get what you want, but it’s up to you to handle it.”

Kelly Tanabe, author of “Get Into Any College: Secrets of Harvard Students” (Supercollege, LLC, September 2004), is sympathetic to students who are frustrated about not getting into their favorite college, given that they spend their entire senior year taking standardized tests and agonizing over essays. However, she agrees with Adner that it is important to help your child keep things in perspective. “The truth is you don’t have to go to your first-choice school to get a top rate education. Getting into a college is not a matter of life or death,” says Tanabe, “what’s more important than the name of your college is what you make of the opportunity.”

This article was written by Victoria Pericon.
If you wish to use this article in any manner, you must request permission.